What is it that you fear?

I have a naturally mean looking face. Some people ask why I'm angry all the time and I really have no idea what to say about that. Anyways, naturally my testosterone driven ego uses this mean looking face of mine to create a bold, masculine image of myself. But as the truth goes, this really is just an image. Inside is a weak, self conscious, scared and pathetic little boy.

I know this because I have examined myself and what led me to this self discovery, came to me while I was visiting a one of thousands of temple shrines here in Taiwan. Taoists, much like the Greeks, have many gods. Polytheists as our language arts professors would label them. The Taiwanese people believe that by appeasing these gods, they will be able to win their favor and thus also their protection. Blessings, fortune, and good luck will be added unto their daily lives. For what these people feared most were not the more powerful gods, but rather the demons that were beneath them.

After learning this fact, I too questioned myself of what I feared, and yes, it does seem that I do also fear demons. Demons of many sorts, ubiquitous in our daily lives. For me, they come in the forms of uncertainty, self doubt, and selfishness. These demons cast their nets into our lives waiting to catch a weaker prey. With its constant feed of lies, it breaks us into its submission. I am captured by and kept by its ball and chain. The fight seems futile when a mortal man goes up against a demon. If anything, it reveals the coward that is within me pushing me further into fear.

Luckily, the story of course doesn't end hopelessly. There is logic that must be applied to diety and demons to make sense of fear and here is the logic. A truly powerful and divine being who is omni-powerful must indeed be over any that is less. Demons are among the class that are less. Thus it is reasonable to fear the more powerful rather than the less powerful. Is it then unreasonable to fear what isn't the most powerful. Is this fear a hierarchical fear, placing the divine as number one and the demons below, each deserving the amount of fear that is ordered in this structure? Food for thought, but I believe that it is more of a game of war. Thus deciding which side you are on is a decision that ultimately decides who you fear. Those who dwell in the darkness knows nothing but the darkness. They fear the demons. But those who are of the light, they fear nothing but the light.

Indeed it is written, "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding" Proverbs 9:10. But to be completely honest, I go day by day fearing my own demons. However it is comforting to also know that I don't have to. A fact that I remind myself whenever my conscious is cloudy. So I wanted to know your thoughts as well. What is it that You fear?